welcome to the singularity ; sacrosanct secure network

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[audio] // 001
avery's hilarious / avery made a funny
gweatntewwible wrote in singularity_rpg
The nice hologram lady tells me I'm in fucking space. [There's a pause, fumbling noises in the background like someone rifling through their pockets. Then the click of a lighter and a slow exhale.]

First person to tell me why wins a prize. The prize is me not shooting you somewhere vital. Ready? Go.

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You act as though it were unwanted.

Oh, silly me. Is this a Tuesday? I forgot I'd scheduled my weekly fucking visit. Carry on then.

You mock those of us not tethered to a planet.

[Last he checked, everyone was tethered to their shithole of a planet for better or for worse. Usually worse.] And that makes you...who, exactly?

[the TARDIS opts for the hologram option, giving Avery an imperious glare]

I am the TARDIS. [because elaboration is not required!!!]

[Avery does not appreciate these holograms popping up wherever they damn well please. :| He shrugs at it.]

Never heard of you.

I am unsurprised. Most humans never do. I prefer it that way.

[audio] sorry this is so late!

Fascinating. Well, thanks for sharing.

I assumed you would want to know.

Depends, are you gonna explain it any better than that?

TARDIS - Time and Relative Dimension in Space. I am a Time Travel Capsule employed by the Time Lord The Doctor.

Congratulations on speaking perfect English and still making absolutely no sense.

If what I have said is such a difficult concept for you to grasp, you are not worth my time.

You know, I hear that kind of crap a lot from people who end up dead.

That's not a threat, mind. Just something that seems to happen to you high-and-mighty genius types.

I am unconcerned.

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